Mom’s in Trouble!

Tell Your Friends

On our way to pick up the kids yesterday morning at the mouth of Fire Road 16 (they spent the night with friends), we stopped into Dunkin Donuts.  I was in desperate need of a wicked big coffee!

Clearly I have no idea what it takes to operate a Dunkin, but I think Corporate’s decision to staff a solitary women to run both the counter and the drive through window seems foolhardy.  In her defense, she was friendly and never lost her smile.  

We must have come at the just the right time, too, because a dozen or so would-be hikers came in right behind us.  After we eventually got our donuts, we loaded up the Buick and were on our way.  

A word on the Buick.  Beth is still in the puppy love phase with this SUV, and eating in her car is a rare and hard-won privilege.  This made my sin that much worse.  

In the 20/20 vision reserved for hindsight, I think I know what happened. 

In the front cup holder, Beth had a tube of her wildly expensive, oil-free, SPF 30, free range, Mongolian face lotion.  It must have been the sharp bottom edge that did me in.  

As I slid my extra large cup of coffee with cream and sugar into my holder, the lotion container pierced the cup.  I had backed out of my spot, and was putting the car into drive when we noticed that my cup holder and the one in front were FILLED with my precious caffeinated treat.  

“Shit!” yelled Beth. 

“Damnit!” copied Jake.  

He would later insist that he said “dang it” and I’m not sure enough to punish him.  He quickly rounded in his mother, however.  “I’m telling Ms. Pray!” He scolded.  Ms. Pray is the middle school principal.  Once we convinced him that Ms. Pray holds no real dominion over his mother, he got quiet.  

“I’m telling Pastor!” He retorted.  “He’s going to give you detention!”  

I finally got the car into park, which allowed me to open the door and dump the scant remainder of my beige nectar onto the parking lot of the Irving.  We pulled around to the windshield washing station, and used what must have been a whole roll of paper towels to sop up the mess.  All the while, Jake is going on and on about telling on his mom.  

Finally cleaned up, there was no time to go back inside to brave the crowds and vie for another coffee.  I was pretty bummed.  

I found out today that Pastor Adams missed church this morning, likely to be home with his wife who had surgery.  It’s lucky for Beth, too, because Jake is holding strong to his need for justice.  

I doubt Pastor reads BigCalfGuy, so I thought it OK to share.  It was too funny not to.  

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