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Oct 17 2013

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Brother, Can You Spare a Dime?

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I’m not usually the first guy in line for charity, but I have to make an exception in this case.

I need to borrow $2,000; or more specifically, $1,962 and a kitten.

That’s the sum total of Liv’s Christmas list.

I can only hope that the government shut-down affects Santa Claus.  I think I’ll tell Liv it does, anyhow.  Maybe that’s my way out.

man-broke-empty-pockets

Here’s Olivia’s Christmas List, in its entirety (plus prices I found on Amazon.com):

Dear Santa,

I want:

  1. New iPod ($243)
  2. Barbie Dream House ($160)
  3. Barbies ($9/ea)
  4. Laptop ($350)
  5. Books ($30)
  6. Pajamas ($15)
  7. Baby Dolls ($15)
  8. Kitten (priceless)
  9. Snow Cone Maker ($30)
  10. Easy Bake Oven ($45)
  11. Bike ($75)
  12. Makeup ($25)
  13. Nail Polish ($15)
  14. Hat ($10)
  15. Scarf ($10)
  16. Gloves ($10)
  17. Popcorn Machine ($48)
  18. Spy Gear ($25)
  19. Surfboard ($290)
  20. Clothes ($100)
  21. Perler Beads ($17)
  22. New Supplies ($50) *
  23. Cabbage Patch Kid Doll ($30)
  24. Slim Jims ($18/bulk package)
  25. Mini Fridge ($120)
  26. Password Journal ($6)

*by this she meant sheets, etc.

Total: $1,962 + a kitten

You can get me anything out of this list or get some stuff of your own.

From Olivia.

You’ve got to give it to her.  It’s pretty all inclusive.  I figure if you’re gonna go, you should go big.  She gets credit for the “anything out of this list” part, which at least shows she’s not expecting EVERYTHING.

Anyway, I wanted to share.  Of course by reading this you’ve involuntarily agreed to NEVER breathe a word of this to Liv.  She’d kill me if she knew I made this public.

Oh, one more thing.  I accept checks, but make it out to Ryan.  The bank doesn’ t know me as BigCalfGuy.

Wait.  This just in.  I just remembered I have TWO OTHER CHILDREN!!  I’m going to need a third job.

About the author

BigCalfGuy

BigCalfGuy

I am a 38 year old, married, father of three amazing children; one of whom has autism. I fancy myself as more Atticus Finch than Holden Caulfield. Dynamite with a laser beam.

Permanent link to this article: http://www.bigcalfguy.com/brother-can-you-spare-a-dime/

5 comments

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  1. Theresa

    I know someone who knits (not me)that could help with the outdoor gear. I do like how she thinks. I would go with the kitty for sure. I’m sure the other 2 4legged kids wouldn’t mind

  2. Nancy Deschene

    She has made it easy for you. No guessing what she wants.

  3. Beth
    Beth

    No kittens!!!!!!!

    1. BigCalfGuy
      BigCalfGuy

      Amen!

  4. Christie

    Ouch!

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