Brother, Can You Spare a Dime?

Tell Your Friends

I’m not usually the first guy in line for charity, but I have to make an exception in this case.

I need to borrow $2,000; or more specifically, $1,962 and a kitten.

That’s the sum total of Liv’s Christmas list.

I can only hope that the government shut-down affects Santa Claus.  I think I’ll tell Liv it does, anyhow.  Maybe that’s my way out.


Here’s Olivia’s Christmas List, in its entirety (plus prices I found on

Dear Santa,

I want:

  1. New iPod ($243)
  2. Barbie Dream House ($160)
  3. Barbies ($9/ea)
  4. Laptop ($350)
  5. Books ($30)
  6. Pajamas ($15)
  7. Baby Dolls ($15)
  8. Kitten (priceless)
  9. Snow Cone Maker ($30)
  10. Easy Bake Oven ($45)
  11. Bike ($75)
  12. Makeup ($25)
  13. Nail Polish ($15)
  14. Hat ($10)
  15. Scarf ($10)
  16. Gloves ($10)
  17. Popcorn Machine ($48)
  18. Spy Gear ($25)
  19. Surfboard ($290)
  20. Clothes ($100)
  21. Perler Beads ($17)
  22. New Supplies ($50) *
  23. Cabbage Patch Kid Doll ($30)
  24. Slim Jims ($18/bulk package)
  25. Mini Fridge ($120)
  26. Password Journal ($6)

*by this she meant sheets, etc.

Total: $1,962 + a kitten

You can get me anything out of this list or get some stuff of your own.

From Olivia.

You’ve got to give it to her.  It’s pretty all inclusive.  I figure if you’re gonna go, you should go big.  She gets credit for the “anything out of this list” part, which at least shows she’s not expecting EVERYTHING.

Anyway, I wanted to share.  Of course by reading this you’ve involuntarily agreed to NEVER breathe a word of this to Liv.  She’d kill me if she knew I made this public.

Oh, one more thing.  I accept checks, but make it out to Ryan.  The bank doesn’ t know me as BigCalfGuy.

Wait.  This just in.  I just remembered I have TWO OTHER CHILDREN!!  I’m going to need a third job.

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    • Theresa on October 17, 2013 at 8:00 pm
    • Reply

    I know someone who knits (not me)that could help with the outdoor gear. I do like how she thinks. I would go with the kitty for sure. I’m sure the other 2 4legged kids wouldn’t mind

    • Nancy Deschene on October 17, 2013 at 12:18 pm
    • Reply

    She has made it easy for you. No guessing what she wants.

    • Beth
    • Beth on October 17, 2013 at 9:00 am
    • Reply

    No kittens!!!!!!!

    1. Amen!

    • Christie on October 17, 2013 at 6:48 am
    • Reply


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