Kobe Steakhouse – Not for Everyone

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Ever been to the circus? The smell of roasted peanuts, the roar of the crowd, the flashing lights, the wild costumes, that weird aroma of people and elephant dung!  Awesome … for most.  I love going to the circus.  I love the unicycles, the trained horses, and I love getting my program signed by all the clowns.  Most kids love it too.  Shockingly, not Jacob.

We used to bring him to the circus every year as a kind of report card; a progress note if you will.  We wanted to see how much progress we’d made against the “Autism” that year.  Eventually, we realized we were just being mean, and we wanted him to be at the circus waaayy more than he wanted to be there.  Blame it on being new parents and wanting the “perfect” family with the “perfect” traditions.  We’ve matured since then, I promise.

Ironically, today’s funny story comes as a result of us trying to avoid just such a scenario.  The original plan was to attend the Springfield Fair, in Springfield, ME.  The weather forecast called for a 40% chance of scattered thunderstorms.  This meant a 100% chance of “angry clouds” on the horizon.  On top of this, there was scheduled to be truck pulls, which are notoriously LOUD.  Not to mention the sights and smells of the fair – it can be pretty assaulting.  Our backup plan was to head to Bangor for the day, catch a movie, maybe take in a quiet lunch, and come home.  Simple?  Yeah, right.

bigcalfguy driving

BigCalfGuy driving to Bangor

hoodlums in the back seat

The Hoodlums in the Back Seat

So, after Smurfs 2 at the cheap seats, which sucked by the way, we got the brilliant inspiration to head over to Kobe Steakhouse, where they do a Hibachi performance and prepare your food on the pool table/grill things they have.  Jake’s got his headphones, it’s just cooking, how bad could it be?  Hahahahaha.

Headed into Kobe Steakhouse

Headed into Kobe Steakhouse

We were lucky.  We got right in and our party of five filled out a table, which means you get served sooner.  Things didn’t seem too bad at first.  Knowing both my boys are pretty picky, we opted for Kids Lunch Chicken with Noodles instead of fried rice.  Noodles are supposed to be safe.  Plain spaghetti is safe; asian noodles with sauces and spices are not so safe.  The cook used a mixture of oils and sauces, which he squirted on from multi-colored plastic bottles.  When the red bottle came out and a clear liquid was squirted, Jake announced that he would NOT be eating KETCHUP noodles.  When the teriyaki sauce was squirted, he laughed and further announced that he would NOT eat CHOCOLATE SAUCE noodles.  Already, lunch was doomed.

Getting started bigcalfguy.com

Getting started – his headphones aren’t even on yet.

Then, the guy used the oil to make a five foot wall of flame – the “let’s get ready to party” move.  Watch what happens…


Jake climbed under the table and stayed there for a good 5 minutes.  The cook obviously didn’t understand what was going on, and his “egg roll” and “onion volcano” trick weren’t enough to bring him back out.  We’d warned the other three people that Jake had autism, and not to be freaked by anything he may say or do.  Still, watch the eyes on the guy next to Beth when Jake bails.  Kills me every time I see it.

Jake for the rest of the meal

Jake for the rest of the meal

The meal was mostly normal for the latter half, though Jake got pretty twitchy, as flash fires popped up all over the room in random intervals.  Liv ordered the steak, and it was pretty awesome.

Liv's steak

Liv’s steak lunch

She even volunteered to be the kid who tried to catch the flying Broccoli.  She and I were the only two to catch ours.  The lady across from us must have tried like twelves times.


All in all, just another Bangor trip for us; thought you might enjoy hearing about it.  Anything like this happen to your family?  Leave me a comment and let me hear about it.


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