I know what you’re thinking.
How did you get magic dogs?
Win the lotto?
On the surface, they look like regular dogs. Long tongues, happy dispositions. I mean seriously, one’s a highly trained service animal and the other is a 2-year old Golden. Are there any better dogs for kids? I seriously doubt it.
You just can’t judge these books by their covers.
They go out of there way to be accepting of everyone in the family. They love to snuggle with the younger ones, get wrestled by Jake, and go on long walks with me. They’ll even feign autism if you want them to.
But here’s what makes them special – they’re
Magic Un-Disappearing Dogs!
They’ve been repeatedly groomed, brushed to within an inch of their lives, and still they shed like mad. At the rate I sweep up after them, they should have disappeared months, if not years, ago. It’s unlike anything that exists in nature. It’s impossible to lose so much of yourself on a continuous basis and still live. It has to be magic.
Need more proof? I present:
Give me two weeks, and I’ll have fourteen more exhibits to show you. How in the world can two dogs shed so much each and every day, and still stay the same size? I get a haircut every three weeks or so to maintain my buzz cut, and I don’t produce more than 1/16th of their daily offering.
Now, I realize this isn’t entirely dog matter. To the jerk who created those little Capri Sun straw wrappers that fall off the pouches and seem to find themselves EVERYWHERE, screw you! But that’s another story.
I’ve probably broken all the rules by actually displaying my floor sweepings for the world to see, but hey, I’m a breaker of barriers. Since I’ve shown you mine, I’d be thrilled to get a look at yours. E-mail me a pic of what your dog (or kids) contribute to the detritus that is your floor, and I’ll put up a post featuring the best (and worst). I can be reached at email@example.com