I Taught Olivia The Number 1 Movie Rule, And She Hasn’t Forgiven Me

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Olivia is thirteen, and wants to watch “older” movies.  She wants to be scared.  She wants to be nervous.  She wants to experience a wider emotional range than most little kid movies allow.

The problem is, most of the “older” movies have such intense language that I won’t allow it.  It’s less the subject matter, and more the language.  After all, she’s seen every episode of Friends, Glee, and Grey’s Anatomy there is.  If she has questions, we give her answers.

Anyway, I digress.

Fast forward to late Saturday afternoon.  She’s been jonesing for Christmas movies, and I had DVR’d Krampus, but I wasn’t feeling it.  We settled instead on I Am Legend with Will Smith.

Was it the zombies that bothered her?  No.

Could it have been the 5.9 billion people that died?  Not even.

Was it when Will Smith’s wife and daughter perished in the helicopter?  Nope.

Have you guessed it?

It was when Samantha the dog died.  Sam contracted the zombie virus and was turning.  She started snapping at Will and he was forced to choke her to death.

Liv went full meltdown.  Tears.  Sobbing.  Left the room.  I had to go find her in her bedroom and coerce her to come downstairs and finish the movie.

She’d even started asking a few minutes before Sammy’s death if the dog was going to die.  I told her to watch.  I think that’s part of why she still hasn’t forgiven me.

The dog always dies.  I thought everyone knew this. 

Marley and Me; Old Yeller; Where the Red Fern Grows; My Dog Skip; Cujo – doesn’t the dog ALWAYS die?  Nobody cares about the human characters any more.

So, as penance, I’ve had to sign up for Dish Network’s Heartland package, including all the sappy Hallmark Christmas movies you can handle.  Which for me has already been exceeded when I caught the tail end of A Princess for Christmas.  SMH.

Epilogue:

It’s two days later and she still gets a little misty when I bring up that darn dog.  Also, I wasn’t going to write about this experience for fear of facing her thirteen year old wrath, but she told me over breakfast this morning that she’d checked the site and was kind of surprised I hadn’t posted about it.  Go figure.

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1 comment

    • Jan on November 13, 2017 at 5:32 pm
    • Reply

    There is a Tom Hardy movie it’s pretty gritty, called the drop. It’s not a super great movie I think it’s a Dennis lehane book to be honest. There’s a dog in it my wife and I watch the whole movie not really caring but you make sure that the dog survived. If you watch the trailer you see the dog for like 1.2 seconds. But we started watching the movie and all we cared about was does the dog live. It actually does. And in reality Tom Hardy actually adopted the dog that played his dog in the movie. So kudos to that that there are actually movies out there where the dog does not die. My wife is 30 plus years old and still get super crybaby about animals in a movie. It’s good that Olivia gets exposed to these things because life is never easy and sometimes we learn our coping skills or how to deal with emotions by watching something on television. So good job dad for exposing her a little bit at a time. Granted dying and turning into a zombie….is extreme…

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