Opposite of a diary

Tell Your Friends

I guess the best way to begin is to thank my readers for the outpouring of support and love from yesterday’s post.

BigCalfGuy is, for me, the opposite of a diary.  I don’t write things down to keep them secret from the world.  I honestly don’t do it to receive accolades and reassurances that I’m a good parent.  I do it because I believe in the power of truth.  I do it because I believe that there’s someone out there that needs to hear it.

I have begun to hate Facebook, and for all the right reasons.  Facebook forces us to compare our “behind the scenes” with everyone else’s “highlight reel.”  It promotes and facilitates the echo chamber – building us silos based on belief and likes, which seem to shun those with different ideas and gives us positive reinforcement of our own ideas and beliefs.  We’ve lost the skill, or even the need, to entertain another person’s point of view without accepting it.  I appreciate being able to touch base with family members and friends who live far away. I love that I can see what my nieces and nephews are up to even if we don’t live near each other and  I still use Facebook because that’s where most of my readers live. It’s still the best way to cast a wide net for disseminating information.  But I’m getting off subject…

Beth is working on a reaction post to yesterday’s The times are changing.   She has been mulling over her thoughts in her head, and even lost a fair amount of sleep trying to compose a post.  She doesn’t like to write, and often gets my help with edits.  She gets especially nervous when she bares her soul to the world at large, but she still does it – because it’s true.

I’ve been reading Hemingway, and he has a few things to say on writing that I find rather profound.  The quotes are below.  My best-received posts, and the ones I hope mean the most to my readers, are the ones that say the hard thing.  There are parents out there who don’t have anyone to help or to talk to.  They can’t see beyond their own situation.  They desperately need to feel like someone else has been where they are and understands.  I hope I can offer some of that to people.  We (the greater WE) don’t do that enough anymore.  We’re too afraid to admit that we’re lost, broken, or tired.  I don’t think Facebook is necessarily the right place for that.  Remember kitchen tables and long walks?  Spells spent in porch swings with a cup of tea?  Maybe that’s the right place.  Maybe it’s a dumb website written for the world to share.

We need to start sharing in the low points, as well as reveling together in the high points.  Beth’s post is about her feeling a low point.  She’s scared about publishing it because she’s afraid of what people might think.  I think that’s what makes it all the more important.

Stay tuned.

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    • Wanda on January 20, 2017 at 11:51 am
    • Reply

    my story of sharing began 28 years ago when my daughter was 2 and started getting comments from doctors & others. I think my favorite diagnosis from a doctor was that I had 2itis which he said was a single mother who couldn’t handle a 2 year old. That doctor had an ADD child 10 years later and started writing articles on the difficulty of raising ADD children. She had other issues with doctors but I am not writing for those issues. As we progressed & i read & studied her many diagnosis & med regimes. I would talk with coworkers & friends frequently having people come to me with questions. My family trying to keep quiet as “mental problems” & “poor parenting”were embarrassing. My response was the more people know the more they will accept these kids. Which I do see that happening. No longer like in the 50’s when they were kept in a back room or sent to an institution. I still struggle with my daughter and there are moments when I think I should have let them put her in residential care. But we go on and your posts are encouraging. THANK YOU !

    1. I so appreciate you and what you bring to the conversation. Stay strong!

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